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Emancipating (Letting Go from Mental Slavery)
- Dixie Misty
- Apr 22, 2021
- 11 min read
Updated: Aug 11, 2023
Have you ever had that one quote from a movie, or a book, or from a random person that changed your life for good?
“Treat funerals like tribes,” (Kiss and Cry, 2017) Why would we treat funerals like tribes? That’s suppose to be a sad thing or one last goodbye. Whatever that meant for you, rest on it.
Everyday lives a memory, it may be sad, cranky, a mess - you name it.
It feels like a routine having to go out every day, or doing chores, but treating your day as if this is your last is like winning a war
before the battle begins. Even I, I get irritated at times, I get stressed out over petty things, but, there’s a lot of things I’m
grateful for. Life is too short not to choose happiness. Shit happens anyway, go crazy!
You are surrounded with reasons you could be happy: roaming around or having alone time, dancing, writing, singing, friends, phones, families etc. You are surrounded with love, the sacrifices your family
does, the love you give yourself, your friends pulling you up at your lowest and of course - Him guiding you.
Tell you what; I was a very different person before pandemic. Pandemic chose to change how I view life, I am still growing - I mean still 18, but I want
to share my side of story, of events that made me question my whole being. It’s a life changing reflection or a life changing stage of my life that may help you out too (maybe, idk, spare some time). Some of it made me realize what life
offers and what I should offer life.
I know I am a teen, I’ve only seen a part of my life. But who knows. I might look back to this 10 years from now and I might add something to it. Or maybe react to this because I’d be a different person 10 years
later.
Sunsets are happy hours. They’re beautiful like souls of each and every one of you. But you know, you might laugh on things that went on in our life, a stage in our life, rather.
January 28, 2019. We’ve all had that toxic stage in life - mine was around the year 2017-2020. During the pandemic, I had to look back to those days and say “Oh that happened? I said that? Really?”
My friends and I had personal issues, issues at school, and issues in the friend group itself.
We were dismissed early so we thought “Oh, why don’t we all go for a sunset. It’s early we can walk.” Mind you that the distance from town to that spot is literally a distance. Of course, typical highschool scene, one group is on the other side, others took the stairs, others took the road, gossiping about one another and all that, that doesn’t sit right. Right? Sure.
When we were there, two groups went down the lake and three of us shoved to the spot to take pictures and talk (lol, you know it, complain). When the class came, it was so awkward like we all had personal issues about each other that we needed to let out but we can’t because we wouldn’t listen to what one is saying, we do all the talking and refuse to accept that that’s how they feel towards us. Talk about being superior, haha.
Anyway, different scenario. We had the dog in front, time-lapse on the side, I hear tourists saying “Oh, wow, they came as a class, that's so cute and I can see that,” it’s basically a whole bunch of people behind us, and I kid you not, when the sun was setting, we all wowed in unison. That may/ may not be the last sunset of the dog in the photo, but I know, she did enjoy herself. She rested her face on his lap, and was silent all the way through like they’re the only people there - that’s not even his dog.
I talked to some of my classmates about this, and one of them said, “I wish we appreciated what’s served in front of us because we just lost moments, but memories are still best talked about”
In school we are known as the class that stays together. Though we all stood for each other, there are issues that you want to keep on a smaller circle but then it became the issue of the whole class. Though we stick together through ups and downs, there should be issues we needed to work on ourselves. And having everybody involved is not helping. It's just wanting somebody to agree with you - not helpful at all.
For an hour we were all on the same page, our minds were all set in the beauty of the sun and the color of the sky. We totally forgot, we hate each other, so much, to the point that we talk shit about them behind their back.
Life has so many things to offer. And if you cannot see the beauty of it, you’re choosing the wrong side of life (laugh it off). We are all trying to fit in, looking up to people, following the footsteps of a certain person, but, what we don’t realize is that we are pushing ourself too hard that we don’t know who we are anymore.
To step forward is to accept what you can’t do, embrace what you know you are capable of, picking up your flaws, and loving yourself dearly. You cannot always hold on to the same storm. Look at life full of possibilities; you are the only one who can place your worth to its needed value.
Happiness is not a choice, it is a dish that’s served in front of you. You have to enjoy and savor the moment.
It is okay to leave a friendship even if it did last for years. As long as you know you’re the only one growing, and one refuses to accept growing, leave. Or don’t, if you choose to save that friendship, save it, but realize that there should be a limit in trying - well, maybe.
Occasions are remarkable. It’s what we all look forward to. What you see here is how we celebrate Foundation Day in school. We honor our culture by what we call the “Mountain Night.” On this kind of events we have two types of people: a. the one that is stressed out until the performance or until the end of the night b. the one who chooses to enjoy the rest of the night. I’ve been both but more of the first type.
December 7, 2019. Marks the day of all the sweats, practices, stress, petty fights of students. One or two weeks before the Founding Anniversary, students are to meet their groups to discuss whats of their performance on that day. You meet people who would be fine with whatever the group comes up with, people who literally discuss information that needed to be discussed, and people who agree and disagree. If you were me who sees random moments, you would be envious of those people who chose to enjoy themselves during practices. Socializing maybe draining, but at some point, being young is worth it.
During those days, I complain a lot, “What the heck, why aren’t we doing anything, we’re wasting time, blah blah.” Or I go in for attendance and escape, because we’re doing nothing at all, at least that’s what I thought. Two days after, I have no idea what’s happening. And we are about to perform to a whole bunch of people. It’s a relief that there are a lot of students in that group who are like me (that’s not a good example). Mind you that this too is a competition of 4 big groups. Whoever portrayed the theme best, wins. Still, GO BILIG!
Watching the groups before us was like, “Oh, no, they went all in for it.” You watch and understand what’s happening, and you go “Okay, you know what, I’m not choosing stress tonight, we did our best and that’s what matters. We go on and enjoy the rest of the night.” (Says the person who didn't contribute to ideas, lol, naughty). Who cares if you sucked that up? It’s not about the competition (I'm an idiot, I know), it’s the difficulty of your performance, and it’s what you’ve been through. I wish this was what on my mind those days.
You know what I chose to do; I chose to be on the side where we blame people. And I really had the audacity to do that. I came in the last minute on that practice. I thought highly of myself that I could get away with anything because I thought I was being “myself.” I was not, I was destroying her. It was fun while it lasted though.
You would meet events like this your whole life, you would meet people you’ll learn a lot from. Learn from me, you wouldn’t want to be the
person who would destroy other people’s determination to win. You can’t be there and blame others for not doing their best though you know yourself you didn’t either. How we speak has the ability to break people. It works faster than our mind, it doesn’t choose the right words, it wouldn’t care about what you feel. The only way you can fight that is having the ability to stay calm under any circumstances. The art of composing yourself and being ready - emotionless, sure, but sometimes, there has always to be someone who'll bridge a situation, I'm not saying, that should always be you. You are entitled to your emotions too, please don't ever neglect that.
You can choose to motivate people or discourage people.
You don’t always live young, you won’t be a teen forever, and having these kinds of events should excite you. Because what story would you tell your kids one day. Live out the experience, live in the moment, if the event doesn’t seem that happy at all, do something. Make something up to make it alive.
Choosing to look at the brighter side of life in situations like this is not only spreading positivity inside you. You are planting happiness inside poeple you meet and they will help you grow that seed.
Who wouldn’t want a concert right? A goal you achieved in life is a story worth telling. I thought this would hit rock bottom, days before the event. I had lots of paperworks, attend a funeral, some are not allowed to be out past 6, some are busy with the pageant, and some couldn’t attend practices for personal reasons. Basically, only 5 or 6 of us that time were eagerly learning the songs Fr. Charles has presented. And if it weren’t for him pushing us to continue the plan, this goal would be sitting on my list waiting for its black checkmark.
December 8, 2019. The very morning of preparation, I thought we couldn’t do it on time because we lacked man power. I was freaking out since we do not have any outputs for decoration, we had, but we didn’t think it through. Ellora and I had to do the “whatever-comes-out-in-my-head” we’ll do it. When we dropped all the stuff inside the church it was “you do this, I do that, you help them etc.” When it was all coming to pieces, wow that was man power.
But it did not end there. Another problem came hours before the event. Special thanks to Mr. Jerry Fati-ig for entertaining the people while we are finding a man to cut tickets on the entrance. You know what was on my mind that time, “No, I won’t do that, I did everything I can, and that’s the last straw.” And I can’t believe I said that. That wasn’t me that was Patricia. Organizing an event is not easy, whole lot of drama and frustration, stress is on high level, but composing yourself is everything.
What I adore most on this event is that, the audience is not just composed of people who bought the ticket to help us buy the instruments of our own, but it was composed of people who had a part in the event. I didn’t thought of this until now: the words of adults encouraging the youth to rise again is empowering. If it weren’t for this, I wouldn’t think the youth of this town has so many talent that isn’t recognized.
You know, I may have had proposed the plan and I’m proud of myself that I did it, I accomplished a goal, but it won’t happen if it weren’t for the support and full effort of the groups who contributed to its success. Trust me, I couldn't imagine their stress level too, from academics to extra curicculars, man, oh man, that's something.
One thing that I really want to share about this is: when you make other people happy and at the same time giving the same amount of happiness you give them to yourself - is genuine happiness. It’s not too late to achieve a dream or even starting to plan a goal, you may doubt what you’ve started but there’s still a hole inside you that believes in you, saying, you are going to make it. You have to keep going, by the time you get there, never take that moment away from yourself. Be proud.
Remember that happiness doesn’t come to you. I know you’re going through a lot right now, I am no expert but trust me “kasiyana” (all will be alright in time).
Taking selfies, doing journals, or having a diary is okay, living the best out of what you have is not cringe at all. How people judge you, it always lives, take it as a human nature that cannot stop blowing. Never position yourself in the same storm over and over again. Let it go and embrace the rainbow that’s meant above you.
If depression has to write a letter for each and every one of us struggling on the inside, this may be it:
Hey you,
I live in the most dangerous inside of you. I can’t talk. You can’t see what I am but I can control who you are, I know you have the power to alter what you’re thinking off and that’s how you can win the war. I hate being in here, you know that, because the longer I’m in here, the longer you don’t see who you are and what opportunities you offer. I am not your friend. I am the reason why you’re mean to some people, why you’re different inside the house and outside your comfort zone.
You know eventually I’ll eat you and I am taking advantage of your worst, but I am not all that. You have so many reasons to move forward and let me go. I may be that little seed of mustard but know that, the being He is, is bigger than what I have to offer.
Know that you are a very strong human being and that no one can take you away from having that to yourself. It’s time to let me go, step by step, and embrace that life is worth living. You are loved and you are worthy: why did you choose to ignore this? Do not waste another 5 seconds of your life dealing with me because it’s not worth it. Prioritize self love before me. Let go of that umbrella.
You, you are a beautiful soul, and I know you’ll get through this.
None but yourself, can free your mind. I want you to be free.
Love,
Depression
This is one part of all the stories I have in my gallery. The world is a disaster, and you are a part of that. Happiness is about you. It may be doing tiktoks, choosing to stand up after a failure, being alone, a world one with nature, reading a book, dancing under the rain, holding an umbrella to escort your significant other, singing loud inside a car, going on adventures, making jokes, being in school, spending money, eating, being the bigger person, taking out the trash, cooking for your family, doing the chores, checking test papers, being in bed, basically everything you could think of. Life is too short to think about short comings and what not. Always choose to smile.
Treat funerals like tribes. It means, you have so many opportunities you can’t see because you choose not to believe in them, you refuse to believe in yourself. You need to appreciate what you have, be contented of what’s in front of you. If you ignore to be all that, sit, and rest on what you think life should be. People comes and goes, families leave you behind too, the pain won't end and you would never move on from all that, and that's the truth, if they stay with you, they will always stay with you.
We all have issues we want to work on, we all have days that sucks, and your tribe is to pick up yourself and choose to smile during those days because it will make you feel so blessed that you haven’t gone to worse than that. I think that’s my funeral, that's my tribe. What’s yours?
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